A Wish.

A simple life.

Waking up to the rising sun, dew drops shining down from leaves, breathing the fresh natural scent, the morning hustle of neighbourhood residents.
Family breakfast, parents to work, us to school.
Accompanied with relaxing music during the bus ride to school's campus, responding strangers's smiles in acknowledgement.
Punctuality, efficient, alert, attentive, accountable.
Lunch with classmates, jokes in the air, laughter within the creation of a bond, understand each other better.
Promises made for tomorrow.
Bus ride back home. Greeting the welcoming greeneries throughout the walking journey, eventually reaching home safe and sound.
Parents return, dinner at 8PM, get-together-session, school revision and assignments.
Sleeps to recharge for the next day.
A day to look forward to.

It sure sounds nice.

Oh Snap.

Hello there.
I'm back to update this paradise here. =)

I feel like the need to eat a bowl of maggie before I sleep. Maybe I'll do just that... but later.

Now I'm going to update a little about what has been happening recently so that in the future, whenever I'm bored, I'll be able to entertain myself by reading my past ramblings and laugh about it. Ain't that gona be fun? =)

Anyways, this is related to my previous post.
I've safely concluded that HE is nothing but an eye candy.
Well look at it this way.

He is fun to be around with.
Funny.
Has interesting opinions.
Is a pretty boy.

Note the last factor, "IS A PRETTY BOY".
And he is also just a partial figment of my fantasy.
Which is heh, in reality, is damn impossible for me to own.

Firstly, for my part... I have issues with commitment.
Number two, I haven't love myself enough to love anybody else yet.
On a third note, my emotional space has been taken up with the wasted feeling of feeling upset and lonely... felt that it could have been made more useful being occupied by elements like feeling the joy of dance and the will to work real hard on school work whereever it can be applied to.

So to conclude Ladies and Gentlemen, I shall put this what I call THE "love affair" aside and set the focus more on my interest on Dance as well as building the foundation to my future career being in the Hospitality and Tourism line. Yeah.

Gooooooooooooooooo Juna!

1/3 of my Actual Thoughts Out Loud.

There's many billion times I tried to forget him, but I can't.
I've convinced myself a trillion times that he's just an infatuation, but it just fails mid way coz I can't stop but to keep on this strange crushy feeling I have for him.
Pretty vexed about it, coz everytime I think of how it would never work for us... I'm troubled.

Well, it isn't the first time that my feelings weren't answered for.
My pace has always been this way.
I've always given up before it even begun.
Worst still, I'm always the one who gets the rejection.
Somewhat or rather, I've grown to become used to it.

Even the guy who plays my significant other in the future, seems pretty vague.
I just don't know anymore. I feel like I shouldn't involve myself anymore in anything that has to do with affairs of the heart.

This feels so troublesome.
This feels so weird.
This feels so time-consuming.
This changed me.

Why do others have it so easily, and yet... it's so hard on my road?

Yes. It's probably me thinking too much about it, but you see... I just can't help but to think it that way.
Oh probably, I should learn to love myself first, before I shower any to other people.

Therefore, I shall make it official. There shan't be anybody else who worries me but myself, my family and my good friends.

And yeah, I'm fat and ugly... I'm saddened by that too.